Articles for March 2012

Exquisite Feedback

 

A while back Trisha, CFW trainer, friend and cheerleader, was reporting changes in how her body responded to certain foods (dairy and popcorn, I believe) after having completed a 6 week program of squeaky clean eating. Her body was much quicker to move things along, if you will, than previously. While there was some heartache involved in realizing that dairy and popcorn no longer fit with her body’s idea of a good, healthy time, there was also the realization that her body was simply providing what we lovingly deemed exquisite feedback.

Thus was born the beautiful idea of exquisite feedback. As I think back over the past few years, I realize that so much of what I have learned about myself and my relationships, about counseling and coaching, about exercise and nutrition and wellness, and about grace can be summed up with that term – exquisite feedback.

That learning began in earnest back when I met my dear friend, Linda Mitchell, who counseled me and trained me and taught me to trust my subconscious as being a very important part of me. I learned to listen to myself without judgment. Life changing. Seriously. I began to realize that I was in the habit of putting practically everything I said or did or thought about in a box labeled “right” or “wrong.” It exhausts me to think of the energy I wasted in that endeavor! Linda encouraged me to simply notice what I was doing or saying or thinking in such a way that I could then choose whether or not that action or word or thought was helping me create the life I desired. If not, it was ok to discard the limiting belief or negative speech and thinking patterns. It was ok to create new patterns of behavior, to learn new ways of speaking and thinking. It was ok to accept myself and love myself just as I was!

To say that the work I did with Linda impacted my life is an understatement. I began to listen to my husband and kids in a much different way. Instead of feeling attacked and inadequate by their requests, when I chose to listen through new filters I could instead accept the conversations as exquisite feedback. (Notice I said when I chose to use what I knew. That’s not always easy and I wasn’t always successful, but we were getting there!) I was building a new foundation on which to create a life on purpose.

Fast forward a few years and I find myself continually drawn to learning new ways of thinking and speaking and doing and being. I notice that my perspective on life is more positive and peaceful and accepting of others. I am more positive and peaceful and accepting of myself.  I can choose to give myself exquisite feedback. Because, after all, it is my choice. We all talk to ourselves all the time anyway. Why not say loving things? Who knows what your body, brain and self may do to support and encourage you once they know we’re all in this together – and more importantly, that you’re going to be nice to them!

As a life and wellness coach, it is my desire to help my clients begin to trust the exquisite feedback their brains and bodies and lives are already providing. E. E. Cummings puts it this way, “We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” I believe in you. I believe in your brain and your body and your spirit and your life. Let me help you believe in yourself.

Peace, Love and Exquisite Feedback,

Jeanye